10 Ways to Go From Girlfriend to Wife

Steven James Dixon February 14, 2011 Comments

Be a Woman All Day, Everywhere
Take pride and dignity in your womanhood. Have self respect. I tell women every day that if you don’t respect yourself, then no one in the relationship respects you. You make everyone else respect you, why do you let a man disrespect you? A man shouldn’t even have a choice in whether or not he is going to respect you.

Be Independent
Not just financially, but be an independent thinker overall. Take the time to learn you and what works best for you instead of taking someone else’s advice and forcing yourself into a box. Your core person should not change simply because you are in a relationship. Be independent of your man and have your own life, goals and ambitions.

Stay On Your Tippy Toes
Don’t get comfortable and lazy on your man. Don’t just think that he is going to marry you because you have been together for a few years. Get fine-ER, get smart-ER, be bett-ER. A man wants to see growth in you and wants to be excited about who you will be in the future.

Turn His House Into a Home
As a single brother, my crib had the bare necessities. A woman came by one day and slowly started to upgrade my stuff in a very subtle but profound way because no woman had ever done it before. First it was a couple nice decorative candles; then she replaced my picture frames and artwork. She helped me paint a couple of rooms in my house. I was like “She knows what she doing, I am going to marry her.”

Be a Godly Woman
There is just something sexy to me about a Godly woman. You want a Godly man, don’t you? The Bible is a relationship handbook. Read it. Follow it. Live by it. When your man is weak, you need to be able to refer to dat word. When the Devil attacks, he needs to know that you know God.

Watch His Momma, Do What She Do
You don’t have to be his Momma, but you should try to be in her likeness. Here is an example: during the holidays when you were at your man’s family home, if his grandma, momma and auntie were all in the kitchen and you were in the den watching the game with him, y’all probably had the best time ever, right? But guess what, he’s probably going to break up with you. You should be in that kitchen with his female relatives or else go and find yourself a man whose mother can’t cook.

Show YOUR Woman
There are certain things about you that make you woman. There are certain things about you that make you the best woman for him. It is your responsibility to show him your strongest qualities as a woman. If you know how to take care of a man, then you need to show him that. If you are a great cook – “Show & Prove”. If you have a huge heart that is full of love then he needs to be caught up in your rapture. He better know what makes you unique as a woman.

Be His Biggest Fan
Women need love. Men need their egos stroked. We need your support, your encouragement, and we need to know that you believe in us. Tell him that he is a good man, that you are lucky to have him, that he is special and that he is a better man than you had initially thought. If you can’t make your man feel like a man, you won’t have the job for long.

Nurture Him
The art of nurturing a man has been lost. Talk sweet to your man and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Hug him, hold him, squeeze him too. Being a Black man is hard but with the nurturing of a good Black woman, it’s that much easier. Learn your man. Pay attention to him. Listen. Hold up, let me say that again. LISTEN!

Be the Freakiest Person He Knows
Too many men are cheating. If your man cheats make sure that you are not the reason why by HANDLING YOUR BIZ-NESS IN THE BEDROOM! A man has to know and believe that there is not a woman out there that is going to try harder to please him than you. In the book “Men Don’t Heal, We Ho” the author had this to say”

Twice a year you have got to do something to BLOW HIS MIND! When he pulls up you snatch him out of the car. Toss him in the shower. Wash him from head to toe. Lick him from head to toe. Violently shove his head in your crotch. Break something. Hurt him. Scratch him. Wild animal. He has to remember this night! The next morning, he has got to turn over like, “We forgot to eat dinner last night, I am starving. What got into to you last night? Were you on ecstasy or some­thing? Listen, I can’t do all that anymore, you hurt my back.”

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Comments

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  12. Aquarishan says:

    Great article and all….you make some valid points but where are the men that are ready to recieve a woman that does all that? I mean, I got all the above covered, I have YET to encounter a man who is ready for that kind of woman or capable of doing right by that type of woman……

    1. sjDixon says:

      Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the write-up. It proved to become Pretty useful to me and I am positive to all the commenters here Its always great when you can not only be informed, but also entertained Im certain you had fun writing this write-up.

      1. Aquarishan says:

        Oh I am thorougly entertained!

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  15. Chelsea Sawyer says:

    hey I am a white woman that is dating a black man and we are very in love I found this article very interesting and I liked it for the most part but I really thought that the racial references were uncalled for. We should be way past racial discrimination and its hard being a good man or good woman period in the world we live in and it helps to have a good man or good woman backing the other one up regardless of color.

    1. sjDixon says:

      I fully support each person loving whoever loves them. Relationships are colorless. I apologize. It won’t happen again.

      1. NGTurner says:

        In my opinion, an apology wasn’t warranted – You were speaking from you very own perspective as a Black man… Who would you know better. If your reader above is secure in her relationship she wouldn’t be so petty with her response – cuz she’s so in love… smh

      2. Jae says:

        I agree. If she is secure in her relationship what does it matter about the references you made to black men and women? And where in the article did he discriminate?? No where. Um, Chelsea don’t make ignorant comments especially when they don’t make sense.

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  19. Esh says:

    Awesome but where are the real men? Please stand up! I know that you (the writer) are of the male .species but i’ve noticed that not any men respond to your blog.

  20. Shaorn says:

    AWESOME!

  21. Lucy says:

    I just re-read this post again. Thanks for the info.

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  23. DeeDee says:

    First, your “be a Godly-woman” comment and “a freak in the bed” comment don’t go together. These statements may work for Married women, but for Single women, no. Also, women can be as erotic aka freaky with a man as they please but that will not make him marry you.

    1. Mrs. Lena' says:

      That’s why you need to have all 10 and not just that 1 because you can be the best lover but if you have nothing else to offer then you’re right he won’t marry you and why should he? Let’s be real with ourselves, not that’s its right but in this day & time sex is coming well before marriage. So, if you aren’t possessing that sexual capacity that he desires then your marriage is bound to fail becaus he is expecting what you can’t deliever. Although is not a good thing it isn’t exactly a bad thing to test the waters, because if he/she is a bad lover their partner is going to ulitimately cheat…that’s REAL!!

  24. jessie's girl says:

    “Too many men are cheating. If your man cheats make sure that you are not the reason why by HANDLING YOUR BIZ-NESS IN THE BEDROOM! ”

    - I was almost 100% with you until I read that line. Nope, sorry any man who would cheat because his partner ain’t pulling enough stunts in the bedroom isn’t husband material at all. Who would want to marry someone like that? I mean what happens when children or illness come into the marriage will he start dipping out if his wife no longer has the energy/time to be his freak in the sheets?

    I get the sentiment that you should try to show that you are sexually open and adventurous in the bedroom I just don’t think you should be implying that women do so to keep their partner from cheating because that NEVER works.

    1. Mrs. Lena' says:

      If you read other articles by him you will see where he elaborates on this texts. In no words is he saying that you have to put on a show or do magic tricks to keep your man please. Simply saying don’t slack in that area because you got him. So often women get the man and that’s it everything you did to get him goes out the window. Don’t reject him ALL the Time, some time is fine because you are going to be tired, you are going to have montherly duties, and other things are going to come up. In the midst of all of that DON’T FORGET ABOUT YOUR MAN cause the next one won’t.

      1. sjDixon says:

        That is all that I am saying. Thank you Mrs. Lena

  25. me, me, me says:

    loooove this! btw, the assumption by a commentator that sex will come before marriage isn’t true. i’m 31, very attractive, fun, Christian, and a virgin–as are several of my friends. i’m just waiting on a Godly man to come and claim his prize (once he puts a ring on it, of course, LOL).

    thanks for writing these articles and giving advice for both men and women. often times, only women are addressed and encouraged to grow. i think the more men hear from other men, and the more women set standards and boundaries, and aren’t afraid to lose a man if he’s not okay with those goals, the stronger our relationships will become. as a woman who came from a broken home in which both parents made major mistakes, it’s nice to hear from a strong man who is willing to keep it 100, but be Godly about it as well. thanks for sharing and keep it coming!

  26. jummy says:

    Have been thinking of breaking up wit my man because i felt he wasnt giving me wat i deserved but reading this i think i am the one not giving back everything he as ever given me and want more but aint encouraging and supporting him. Tnks for this great article.

  27. Kp says:

    its an excellent article that connects all the corners of this world..!!!!!

  28. jo says:

    your articles should have a “print” button….thanks for sharing your wisdom on relationships

  29. Lyn says:

    I enjoyed reading this article. I was checking out some of past ones and this one popped out. Too many woman are walking around not sure, unsure and clueless at times on what it will take to please a husband and keep a husband. The one thing a man wants and needs in the woman of his dreams, is encouragement, respect and more respect. Too many woman are wearing the pants and the dress, the Tims and the pumps. Too many woman have forgotten that God made Adam a leader and though he loved Eve, in that love he became weak and here we are today, no leaders, no fathers and broken men waiting to be discovered. Too many woman have their standards up just a little bit tooooooooo high. (Say it with your best Prince voice) I am not ever saying to sacrafice what you want, but I am saying that many of our brothers are in need of us woman to help them, love them, respect them and show them, the way we live that he is needed, wanted, admired, adored.

    Good article. We need more of these especially for our woman.

  30. Lisa says:

    It is very hard to be nice with your man, if he treats you like shit. Also, the man does not stand by you at all. I had to let my husband go because he never stood by his woman. I uses to love him to death. I want a man, who does not like to run the street.

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